A babbuhl far far away.

Hey ho loving audience, it's me again, i've been mulling over making a post about my departure, but instead, I decided to chronicle the legendary battles of the Zibbudie Babbuhl Alliance and it's quest to rid the galaxy of the oppressive empire.

I will start by showing one of the many space battles my forces have been engaged in with the empire.


The fleet is assembled at Atzerri under the command of General Han Solo, it is to strike the Vergasso Asteroid Cluster, the main hub of Empire shipping for materials on this new superweapon, which the latest reports from the bothans have supplied us, many bothans died to supply us with this information, let's make it worth the trouble.


The Zibbudie Babbuhl fleet hyperspaces into the system under the cover of a nebula to mask their approach, this is going to be a quick raid, destroy the main base to disrupt the Empire's vital shipping routes and then hyperspace out.


Unfortunately for us the Empire had ample time to set up their defense, they staitoned star destroyers in the immediate vicinity to deter any pirate raids, they would sonn be turning those turber laster batteries on us, the Interdictor cruiser in the background had activated it's Gravity Well Generator to prevent our escape by hyperspace, we had to destroy it.


The X-Wings have engaged the cruiser to draw it's batteries way from the capital ships and to provide a suicide bomb if needed, the great cruiser looms over the 3 X-wings breaking off to strike again.


The Interdictor was falling apart from the en masse assault from the ZB fighters, our pilots were brave this day, the turbo laser batteries on that ship would never fire at alliance vessels ever again


The Corellian Gunboats unleashed a salvo of Concussion Missles finally ending the career of the Interdictor, the alliance could finally being it's calculations for it's hyperspace jump, they had been battered and bruised


A damaged Imperial Star Destroyer hyperspaced in, no doubt from it's patrols on the outer rim, the Alliance forces caught it by suprise however, the orbital shift had throw small asteroids near it's course, it had to maneouver through them to get to us


An asteroid crashed into the ship's main power generator, and it shut down, the fleet hyperspaced out, leaving the ship to die in the asteroid field, the alliance has won this day, Babbuhl will be restored to the galaxy.


-Kyle Out
Tell the truth you never wanted me

I'm leaving March 13th

Yes that's right, I venture to the great beyond on the 13th of march, i've told a few people, I get the random aww that sucsk, sure I guess it does, but i'm onto life now, I've had to leave for a long time only to be strung along by the military.

As sad as it is, it's also a time for awesomeness, I have no clue where i'm going after it, maybe to another country, maybe staying in Canada, but regardless it'll be something.

The military has been my family for a long time, nearing a decade now, I go with fierce pride and knowledge that I will be in service to my country and it's people, as decadent as some of them may be, I train and fight for you guys, I hope you're proud of me, at least as much as i'm proud of myself.

I've been asked to write out my living will this thursday an such, i've also been hinted that Afghanistan or Bosnia may be the country in which I serve a tour of duty, i'm hoping for Bosnia to be honest, want to work alongside EUFOR

I'll go on a tangent some other time, professing my love and such, but not tonight, I'm tired, and i'm burning up as in a fever.

-Kyle Out
He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright.
He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight.
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar.
You ain't gonna jump no more.

Shooting stuff (redux)

As you may have gathered, Zibbudie Babbuhl tends to incorporate the magic of shooting people in a virtual realm -- it makes a good round-table (or couch-length) game since, you know, everybody like shooting stuff -- and we are in the process of making another step in this realm. A step backwards and a little to the left, but a step nonetheless. Like a group of poker players starting to dabble in acid-filled Super Soakers and gin rummy after years of neglect, we are going to give Half-Life and its associated modifications another spin.

Free to download, fun, less cursing 12-year-olds, and fast in the regard that we can both run it without problems. What it boils down to is little more than shooting people, sure, but we're taking the time and effort to diversify. A bullet is just a bullet until you give it context, you know? Friggin' poets we are.

We'll shoot Nazis in Day of Defeat. (We do this a lot.)

We'll shoot trenchcoat-wearing Uzi-toting action film charicatures in The Specialists. (For the first time in a while, possibly with more of an emphasis on shotguns and stabbing weapons.)

We'll steal scientists and other various human resources in Science & Industry, contributing to a fictional corporation's grasp of science, more often than not by shooting at what gains our competitors have made.

We'll fire upon the living grime of xenoform-infested mining stations adrift in space in Natural Selection, Darwin be damned.

This bloody engine is almost eight years old now. And there is yet life in these modfications, some updated as recently as last month. It boggles the mind. We're essentially pulling amusement out of a technology that has existed as long as Evan, a person who talks and walks and carries intelligent conversations.

We never hated Gabe Newell.

Honest.

Zibbudie Babbuhl and Islam

HA U GUYS, I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT POLITICS.

Well, Islam has been basically sticking their fingers up their assholes for a while now hasn't it, I mean, taking a look at their historical culture, one would surmise that the religion and it's people are based upon peace, unity and prosperity.

Oh Islam, where have you gone wrong?

Recently, a danish newspaper published drawings of the prophet Mohammed, for those who don't know, Mohammed is essentially the equal of the Lord Jesus Christ to us Christians/Catholics, now, I can understand the whole shouldn't depict the prophet in case of false idolization, we have that too, but to deny the whole planet it's right ot free speech and freedom of the press..all for one religion, while i'm sensitive to religion, I believe people can believe whatever they want, shouldn't the Muslim/Islam world offer the same courtesy?

This is not a one way street guys, respect goes both ways, if you want us to respect your faith I suggest you respect our freedom to parody it, the drawings did not infringe your right to worship your God in any way you see fit, it did not close down your Mosques and persecute you, it was simply a parody.

I see all this support for the violence from several members of the Muslim/Islam world, so I guess everytime a Boondocks comic is posted up, members of the black community will raze a consulate and kill innocent people because they were portrayed in a certain facility in which they do not necessarily prescribe to, that is some sick twisted justice we have going on here.

Look at North America, every single day we have defamations of various religious icons and people, look at the KKK for christ sake, while vast majority of the people on this planet do not agree with them, we have to tolerate them because well it's their freedom to do what they do, as sick as it is, Death Metal bands all over the world are a great example of this, it is their right to express themselves how they choose, do you see the christian world(presently) initiating a great crusade to wipe these people off the face of the planet?

The answer is no, I used crusade as analogy just for this, yes, the christian empire did initiate terrible wars for the holy land, however, this is the past, and we learned from it, while we might not be the most tolerating faith/people on the planet, we decided that this whole crusade to prove that were are the superior religion was wrong and that we should co-exist with out brothers and sisters of the faith(every faith, not just a singular)

Right now the Muslim/Islam world is losing every shred of credibility, you cannot control your people, you cannot allow a cartoon to not initiate you into a bloodbath and trial by fire, you are allowing violence to sterotype you as barbarians, it is your freedom to prescribe to any religion you see fit, but when you call for Jihads and the killing of innocent people it's going too far, especially over a cartoon.

Now, I support Cultural Relativism but this is just getting excessive it's like we can't go for a week without the Muslim/Islam world causing a huge debacle because it was parodied or offended in some inane way.

I am not sterotyping or generalizing, this is simply an observation n the current political situaitons occuring in today's world.

Any comments would be nice on this, your views as such.

I like to hear that i'm not crazy sometimes.


Another Topic

I'm looking for another worker again, i'm leaving soon and I don't want to give my two weeks in, jobs pretty sweet, I just want time to say bye to family, do training and shit, relax a bit before I venture out to the great wonder.

3 hour shifts 5pm-8pm good for students, it's in montreal, I can meet you snywhere and take you there, show you around, train you, i'm pretty desperate here, i'll take anyone at this point.

Leave a comment if interested, thanks.

-Kyle Oizzout.
With my teeth locked down I can see the blood
Of a thousand men who have come and gone

YOU NEED SOAP TO TAKE A BATH, NOT JUST WHISKY

Another crazed rant from yours truly I think you guys like this part more than my actual writings, there's some sort of...pseudo honor with these insane ramblings.

I don't want alot of T.V to be honest, most of the shows I loved are long gone, I was a T.V watcher of the 90's all pounding the VCR while it recorded Exo-Squad on my saturday mornings.

But I love this one show, Rescue Me, i'm sure alot of people have watched it, it's an insane show about this particular firefighter department, and these people are just insane in so many ways.

We have Tommy Gsvin the protaganist who lost his best friend and brother on 9/11 and he constantly has visions of grandeur and delusion, he sunk into depression and hi the bottle pretty badly, he seperated form his wife and the only thing he had left was the job, after taking anti-depressents not prescribed for him along with viagra because he couldn't screw her without being drunk, he basically lost his old ways and became a nice guy, only to be kicked off the FDNY hockey team, soon only to fatally injure a police officer on the other team, bringing him back to hs asshole demeanor.

That is just one example of the insanity, I can't do it justice really, it's something that's really genious, like me really, just i'm not Dennis Leary.

Achewood is geting like 10000 times more amazing with every comic, the great outdoor fight has begun, and well, I remember I told Jems if such a contest existed I would sign up in a second, he then told me I would be thrashed like a carpet hanging from a clothesline, dust puttering out and all.

I said no, no way, I could take these guys, they all think a good price for wine is 3 dollars, i'm a tough son of a bitch, all cracking my foot into some dudes asshole for speaking of the sabbatical, pulling a .45 on some stupid fucknut for stepping over the foul line, Kyle Adam doesn't take shit from no one, stupid Thundercunts, they say it can't be done, but i'd rip a guy's whole mid-section apart and then eat at as he cried.

I invited Jems into this posse of mine to be my co-pilot, he politely refused as I told him I could tear a mid-section apart, emphasizing the tearing, I told him he could drive the motor cycle and inform me on what I may be getitng myself into before I bravely step into a 3000 Acre 3000 Men brawl, but i'd nonetheless brave on and win the competition, only to find that I was wounded mortally and dying slowly.

You know what's funny? I can hardly stand pizza, I hate the stuff, but a pizza pocket, that's something else, I live for pizza pockets, damn I could go for one right now.

When I got back fro mthe Parade on friday we did a little mock battle in he westmoutn park, we basically kicked the kids off the football field, gave everyone a rifle and ran at each other, hypothesizing tactics and fanking maneovers, I didn't know what to scream as a battlecry anymore, being a Mechanized Soldier alongside engineers..I thought to myself what would be appropriate..the order for charge was given..people mounted up slowly getitng up from their prone position..

CHIMO! was screamed from the engineers a clear precise cry, I didn't say that, I couldn't anymore I had another unit now, they had to be represented!

VELOX!!!!!!! I yelled with fury, it could be heard from miles away with how loud I screamed, the flanking force was filled with such strength, man it was awesome, I love being a mechanized soldier, my sabre all clanking and such while I was charging, too bad I couldn't unsheathe it, but you know, as a Canadian, I shouldn't be stabbing another Canadian.

I am done now

-Kyle Out
Velox

I felt like I had to write something

I'm not feeling great you know, my hands are jittery and I can't calm myself down, I don't know what's wrong with me, I wanted to get rid of some of my energy, I don't know how, I usually just rant in my head or exercise, but that isn't going to cut it right now.

London Underground is a great song, it pretty much sums up the great services of the Underground in a tightly knit package which lasts 1:57m I love it, it's something great.

I've been listening to alot of RJD2 lately, more so than normal, i've been stuck on this one song it's called Work, I don't know why, but it's just caught me by the lip like a fishing hook, hook push it upwards then pull not just tug at the sucker.

I got my sabre last friday, you know, the whole initiation process in the army, i'm a mechanized soldier so we get sabre's all riding by some douche and slicing him across the chest in a macabre fashion, Sirrah, Sirrah.

I asked Jems if he thought the lord jesus christ existed, that came up to a good discussion, we're not exactly the most philosophical of people, but at least we can get a glass of wine a mock of library and velour sitting chairs and pretend to have a fascinating conversation, it went to space, like, outer space, I don't know how, I sort of puttered out real quick, the whole God thing isn't such a great theory anymore.

At Somethingawful we have a thread for posting your favorite combined insults, my favorite you ask?

Cock Juggling Thunder Cunt

it just rolls off the tongue, verbatim satin cruton.

I want to do another movie, but i'm not sure what we should do, the stuff we've been coming up with requires an actual budget, but we want to stay cheap and funny, we wanted to do a movie about peole going back to the 90's ala bill and ted, me and Jems would do the whole air guitar sthick and shit, we had a good laugh, but for some reaosn that just didn't get movieng too well.

We need ideas, so in the spirit of Babbuhl i've come to ask you fair readers for ideas, we'll take the best idea and make a movie out of it, it could be a simple premise like

"Dinosaurs doing office work"

and we could take it from there, or we could make it really involved giving us a script or whatnot and hell we'll even involve you in it if you want, you'll be given top honors of course, something along the lines of.

"This Babbuhl could not be possible without ________"

Someone tell me this is not a good idea, come on, this is fucking stupendous, I am a damn genius aren't I?

The answer is yes, yes I am, of course I am, i'm in the Army, I have to be smart, this is simply a natural progression to a different form.

I love being arrogant.

Anyone watch Rescue Me? that show is tits on glass, I'm looking for the theme song, anyone know?

Didn't think so.

You know what's good?

Curry

Shit's delicious, you can put anytihng in it, nd slap it over some rice and it will taste great, cheap if you make it yourself too, I could go for some curry right now, or some scrambled eggs, or something, jesus i dunno, i'm hungry, I haven't eaten in almost 2 days now, I think i'm going slowly crazy, oh well.

No rest for the wicked they say, and well, i'm a very wicked person.

Well you guys have had enough of me being crazy and somewhat depressed so i'll take my leave.

Edit- Thank you Eric, God bless you.

-Kyle out
I know who you are, but what am I?

ZB40k

Why hello wayward travellers, I am here again to spread my infinite wisdom to you, as moses proclaims his 10 commandments, so shall I(sans tablet and burning bush)

Zibbudie Babbuhl had it's very first WH40k battle, it was essentially Jemsy and Andre versus yours truly, the forces looked like this.

Kyle-
HQ Squad
Squad of Karskins
A platoon of Guardsmen
(I had over 62 men)

Andre-
12 Chaos Space Marines

Jems-
A fuckload of Orks

I know it looks heavily weighted in my favor, but in actuality, Andre had almost triple the point value fielded than I did(so nyahh)

The highlights were my 69 shots against Andre's already dwindled marines, he soon succumed to the Canadians, Jemsy attacked my Karskins and HQ squad, his orks soon fell, he took out quite a few though, about 9 of my elite troops, which is hard to do, Andre sadly, did not even get off a shot.

Jemsy has subsequently chose his side, he will be playing the Orks, all rushing into battle, knocking their skulls together.

I have also purchased Civilization4, wow, is it ever different, I owned the world as the romans on more than one occasion, then as the russians twice, the game is really somrthing special, best 69.99 I ever spent.

It's too bad, there's so much to buy, but so much to save for, Valentine's day is coming, have to save for that bugger, it's too bad, I wanted to buy Black this week.

Alas, it will have to wait.

-Kyle out
But there's something about us, I want to say,
Cause there's something between us anyway <3

Zibbudie Babbuhl goes back to school?

That's right faithful readers, Kyle Banyon Adam(me) may yet grace the halls of an academic institution once again(outside of the military)

In order to keep my options fresh and varied i've considered going to Vanier to learn a little somethin' somethin' and or becoming a firefighter in this fire infested city of ours, which would require me to go to an academy in Laval.

The military is still a big option for me though, Just well, the conservative government scares me, and well, I don't wanna die clutching a Canadian flag, all saying "Tell her I love her" then nodding off solemnly, I wanna go with with a bang "Der Adler ist gelantet" or somesuch(Delivery...in....*cough* the pizza), I wanna be an educated man, more so than I already am.

Also. in other news, Zibbudie Babbuhl has fully infested Somethingawful, we have begun a great plot, we wre show them our ways and convert them slowly, they will see the light of Zibbudie Babbuhl....or else(this means I now have a forum account there and I can read the cooking forum because i like to cook)

Edit-
I might be going to OCS! as in Officer Candidate School, to become a Second Leftenant in the army, oh god yes.

-Kyle Out
I feel right
The music sounds better with you <3

YTMND of the Century.

http://chunkpicard.ytmnd.com/

Just go. Go.

Zibbudie Babbuhl Plans(that never made it)

Yes, as you may know, us 3 at ZB, we're chock full of ideas, promises and hopes for the future, truthfully, we're full of empty promises, pessimistic ideaologies and we just re-use old tired gags, yes, it's true, but that doesn't make us less funny, no siree bob.

Let's take a few looks at the plans in which Zibbudie Babbuhl came up with yet never left it's beta stages.

1) The Zibbudie Babbuhl Movie:

Yes, we had the idea to incorporate basically every Zibudie Babbuhl moment ever in one single film, we soon realized after spouting our ideas on Halo2 that this movie would simply be too awesome to show to the general public.

Imagine it, every Zibbudie Babbuhl moment in one film, over and over, greatness portent, we were afraid it would destroy the foundations the catholic church had lay over 700 years ago, we've kept this idea in the proverbial safe, never to be unveiled fully....

In actuality, the movie wold have been way too long, we needed sets that we didn't have access to, we required more people than we could manage, especially since back then, we were a 2 man wrecking crew who shot virtual avatar's and little more, and well, the expense of batteries would have bankrupted us, fucking bankrupted us.

2.Zibbudie Babbuhl DVD Commentary:

We decided on the movie and everything, but Jemsy and I just ook a deep look into this idea and just realized it would be us making stupid noises and referencing other jokes from other movies(you a docta) for about an hour and 14 minutes, not being sadists, we decided that this idea was folly, it was a flawed piece of crap from the start, the idea isn't scrapped, but man, it would be a cold day in hell when it comes out.

The movie was Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle if you were wondering, I wanted to do Collateral, but that movie was actually really good, didn't want to ruin it.

3. Zibbudie Babbuhl Music Parody:

Jems and I like music, it's awesome stuff, we also like much of the same music, ot' odd, but the mixture of RJD2, Pépé Deluxe, and MF Doom does something to people...it makes them totally awesome we also like making jokes about things, as any amateur comedian would, when the idea of parodying music came along, we took it with zeal, Fire soon cameout, struck the nation in a cacaphony of ultrasound 101 it was a smash hit, but we went too far...

Our next parody was the of Golden Earring - Radar Love, now, I love this song, who doesn't it's just pure awesomeness disytilled into song form, you cannot tell any person to listen to this song and expect them to not like it, so we thought what better song to do?!

We Were Wrong..

The intricasies of the song are subtle and difficult to master, impossible to recreate, our minds were blown as Jems struck his Ukelele and I hummed that harmonica, we tried our hardest to recreate hgat wonderful sound, but it was just out of our hands....as world, you crreare the most beautiful art, only to blind everyone on the planet...tis a shame really.

After a while the idea represented itself once more, through Highwaymen a staple around these parts as all three members here like Johnny Cash's music, and since Senor Cash is in the Highwaymen, we like them by default, but we thought parodying a song of some of the greatest country music signers would be quite disrespectful seeing as we liked the song so much, and that we should stick to the crappy stuff we hate.

Hands were shook promises made, Highwaymen remains out of the grasp of Zibbudie Babbuhl to this day.

That's all I guess, we were stupid enough to do everything else our sick minds thought of, true heroes of this era I tell you.

-Kyle Out
Now every day I been listening to "Love Supreme"
I mean I've fallen in deep like a submarine

A bold new look, same great taste.

Yes, we have a new look here at the ZBL. some of you may like it, most of you may not, but who cares? your opinions are irrelevant anyway, I mean, who could compare to Jemsy's genius in graphic design? no one I tell you so, you're stuck with the new hotness.

On to various news sources:

I have tried the Black demo, and holy god, that game is going to be tits on glass x 4, too bad it will never see the light of multiplayer, tis a shame really, the action is so furious, god damn, all hiding behind a car, 7.62mm round flailing at it, taking off the doors and windows, bullets going thorugh the cover, as I pop up "ra-tat-tat-ta-ta and all the terrorists scatter" essentially all the environment can be destroyed in some way, I actually shot the floor under some dude and he plummeted to his death, it was glorious.

Also WE WON WORLD WAR 2, SHIT YEAH BITCHES myself and Jemsy have initiated a campaign of utter destruction of the German Wehrmacht of 1945, Brothers in Arms: Earned in Blood is the zenith of Nazi killing, all screaming into the mic, "JEMSY I NEED SUPPRESSING FIRE ON THAT MG!" only to hear a timid "Zibbudie Babbuhl" as Jems threw a grenade and destroyed te entire position, I then charge with my men,obliterating any other resistance with the hallowed Tommy Gun, it's a beautiful thing.

We also play Mechassault 2: Lone Wolf now, unlike that last mechassault, this game is actually fun, it looks great, shit is more balanced, more strategy, however, we suck dick at the game currently, the game requires such a different thought process, although I will always cherish the moment I mechjacked Jemsy, I entered the last of the wonderous code, 1 second..2 second! and Jemsy's pilot pod careened through his cockpit, a victory for Kyle.

Zibbudie Babbuhl seems to be moving itself along the internet very nicely, we're seepng into every nook and cranny, delivering the word of Babbuhl, it's something I have always dreamed to see, and it's happening now, so very nicely, and well, wouthout vilence, I thought I was gonna have to tie a few people to a chair and cut off a few ears scream into the discombobulated ear "ZIBBUDIE BABBUHL PRINCESS" show those non-believers..

I have some friends i'd like you to meet!

The Canadian 5th Army

Those are my WH40k figures, that's just one platoon, I have a second platoon a tank my command squad and my JTF2, Velox Foxtrot.

My current favourite joke.

A cab driver and his passenger sitting in the back seat are idling in an alleyway as they wait for a third party.

The passenger tries to liven up the polite conversation by asking about the driver's taste in music after he makes a comment in passing about the oldies station.

The passenger asks the driver if he's heard of the Rat Pack. The driver, contorting to meet his passenger's gaze, shakes his head no. The passenger is stunned.

"Frank Sinatra? Ever heard of him?" The driver again shakes his head no, looking as if he's done something wrong.

Incredelous, the passenger then asks with a great urgency,"What about Sammy Davis Jr.!?" The driver, yet again, shakes his head no, at this point wide-eyed and jittery.

The passenger looks around, not believing what he's hearing. He finally asks the driver, "Then who have you heard of?"

The driver looks at him for a moment, and once the silence grows pregnant, begins to stare intently. He speaks gravely:

"Pagliacci."

At the moment his mouth pops open, a portly clown clad in white and black falls from the adjacent building, howling a single note before he rips into the hood of the car with a tremendous crashing sound.

You are playing a game now, a game of wits, a game of secrecy, it does exist, but it can never be spoken about.

The rules are here.

Good luck.

And Babbuhl they did.

DA-NANA-NANA (Andre, looking for an exit.)

DA-NANA-NANA (This is Eric, a cool dude.)


DA-NA-NA-NA-NANA (Kyle, cookin' up a-somethin'. I asked him what and he said my demise and then started laughing so hard he began to cough.)

WHEN WORLDS COLLIIIIIIDE!

T-Rex!

We met, we talked, we bought, we laughed, we ate, we saw chinchillas and fish and pennies and made threats and got all philosophical. A winning day, to be sure, to be continued come March something-something, when the game Eric won is released to the masses. At present, he has a pre-order paid in full, and a demo disk for Black, a game that takes mindless killing and spontaneous explosions to a level not seen since 1986's Raw Deal. There's also the incalculable damage to his mental state. Suffice it to say, the dude did not go home empty handed.

So, yeah.

Here are some stupid pictures of marginally intelligent people doing idiotic things:

"Kyle. Kyle."

"I'm trying to I'M TRYING TO EAT MY SANDWICH."

"Seriously, Kyle, it's funny but there are people here. Like Eric. "

"Man, he doesn't want to play Jurassic Park."

"Zibbudie BRAAGHB--!"

The look on Kyle's face in this picture reminds me of violent bowel movements and the sound small arms make when they're fired.

We were going to take pictures of the animals but that's a sketchy move considering the vague imprint of the law on our collective psyches, and well, there's not a lot a lot of comedy inherent to an artificial pond full of goldfish and change. Unless they exploded, as Eric pointed out. Dude's sharp.

Lastly, a small venture to the arcade with empty pockets before parting ways on our city's great system of rails. We basically commented on the smell (cigarettes and sweat here--Eric's local joint was marked by whiffs of Asian people and soy sauce, apparently) and marveled at how Pac Man raped and pillaged his way into the Mario Kart franchise. It looked nice, though.

So that's that. We all lived, thankfully, and Zibbudie Babbuhl touched another human being. Consensually.

Until next time, keep your babbuhls by your breast and your gun under your pillow.

Jemsy out.

K

FINE I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT



that is so adorable.

Know why there are so many 5s in the title?

Because out of ten, that's the numerical equivalent to mediocre.

ZING.

Show them the little girl with the ice cream. Show them.

I dare you.

I double dogg dare you.

Seriously, guys, it's a musical about a giant space guitar penis. And the characters are Japanese Smurfs. Start judging things by their covers. Ain't no shame in it.

Don't be led astray.

I.. I'd like to see it someday, actually.

I am telling you to do something.

"People people, stop the fucking presses, just fucking stop em'"

"but sir, the presses take 6 hours to start up again"

"DO IT!"

Guys, you have to see this damn movie, kill anyone in your way to do it, i'm giving you permission, a liscence to kill if you will.

it's called Interstella 5555.



Do it, just do it, you'll thank me, and yourself later.

A vision

Now, when I said quite a while back that I had a real vision for Zibbudie Babbuhl, most people just passed that off as standard drivel and stupidity which spews from my mouth on a regular basis, contrary to popular belief, that just isn't so, I actually had a marvelous plan in which to accompany said vision.

If some of you remember, I proclaimed that Zibbudie Babbuhl would become akin to the Empire in Star Wars, while I wish nothing more than total domination of the local star sector(peacefully), that will have to wait a bit, this is different, this will actually be happening in a few years, I can't tell you my plans now, but as they unfurl you'll notice, i've been working on this for a long time, and I can promise you that it will be something special, well, it will be to me, some people might react with apathy.

I just wanted to share a bit of my Dream with you guys.

(Jemsy note: I made that! And I can confirm that the Dream, as it were, is a most awesome one. Hint: not a clothing line.)

-Kyle Out
She smiled at you...boooooooyyy

The contest is over...

And nobody won!

No one guessed all the lyrics, tis a shame really, oh well, we'll have another contest soon enough, a contest with such a cool prize, we can't even say!

Correction, says Jemsy, correction!

On a un gros gagnant! We have a big wiener!

In the nick of time, sir Eric Mendoza shuttled to our contest inbox his ticket to a video game of his choice and countless nightmares should he choose to wine and dine. Congratulations, Eric! And thanks for saving us the shipping costs to South America. That would've killed our babbuhl budget.

Eric would like to thank Coca-Cola, Hilroy and the fine people at BiC, mostly because they are the brands behind the objects in his vicinity at the moment I informed him of his victory.

For the curious, Eric beat all other entries by correctly guessing 32 of 38 songs.

Eric's prize, a Playstation 2 game of our heartiest recommendation, is to be announced shortly. Or we'll keep it a secret. Depends on how we're going to deliver.

Stay sharp, folks.

Edit: Eric has chosen the Zibbudie Babbuhl adventure to Carrefour Angrignon, where the 3 members of Zibbudie Babbuhl and Eric will take a mystical journey of shopping, he will get his game, we will eat, people will most certainly die, and we will plot a way to pilfer a chinchilla, good times shall be had.

Dusk.

Double doors burst open with a great strength. A man plump, sweaty, aged, red in the face and wheezy stumbles into a darkened studio. He's clad in dirt-marked and food-stained white, not as a man of science or medicine but a pursuit exceedingly more noble in our age of fast food and fast money: a chef. His hat, so much like the Pope's in this darkened haze, bobbles to the front and the back, a sprung Jack-in-the-Box as he half-runs, teeters, feels with swollen blood-caked hands for anything to stop life and the horrible truths if has brought him from leaking at the seams. Knives cold after nights of neglect like these fall to the ceramic ground with a clatter as he searches, blind, for anything of consequence upon the unlit cooking surface often lit so flatteringly for the people of the Food network.

He looks to the stands as the blood threatens to runneth over from his lips, to the opposite end of this twisted ballpark. The seats, so red, velvet, and empty. A half gargle and he finds what he's been looking for. The drawer is pulled with so much of his remaining essence that they both fall: to the ground he slithers, on an oven dial does the back of his head bounce, and out rolls a dozen or so plump onions, cucumber, zucchini and tomatoes. He turns, his back against the great white desk bearing the infamous cooking surface surely rife with salmonella after the weeks of misuse, banging his head behind it and sputtering as he goes, as if behind cover in a war. His hat goes limp and doubles over as he angles his head downwards with great effort, cheeks plump with saliva and blood and skin. His eyes settle on one of the tomatoes in the group of vegetables and he makes a noise, his first, like he has discovered a solution to some universal puzzle or coolant to his heat, or perhaps to call it to him. His fat fingers shake, rattle, and grasp it: a tomato, no longer green, firm, plump and curved in a way that resembles shaved pumpkins.

He smiles, his first, causing what juices he holds in his mouth to squirt from the sides so he stops himself, and looks up like a child, eyes gleaming. He lifts the tomato with him, manages to bring his torso up to the counter and keep it there, elbows jerking against atrophied muscles in his upper arms.

A spotlight cracks open and he squints at it, smiling once more, visibly red and tired and with tubes jutting from the neck as he strains to keep his mouth closed. But no longer. Like a sick Halloween gag he blurts forward, so much he almost loses his chest's grip on the counter and his upraised hand's on the tomato, raising it to the light like a great prize. But he remains, and in a moment his eyes turn inward, eyebrows caked with sweaty dirt force downwards and he lets open his mouth with great defiance to his condition. Liquid pours down his chin and neck and smock and white and clothes and skin and stays there, dripping, being absorbed. Eyes bruised, twisted, stirring in madness open and do not back down against the halogen light. In unison he cries past a mouth bearing only stumps and gums:

"TOMATURU--!"

He crushes the tomato in the miserable claw that hoists it and falls to the ground in the instant the pulpy mess pervades his cracked fingernails. Thumping against the marble of the counter like a ragdoll, he gurgles once more having lost control of his body. The other vegetables lay undisturbed.

The spotlight ends, hums and leaves them in silence.

Somewhere, an Iron Chef cackles, mouth full of cold green pepper.