Thoughts on Halo 2.

A prime example of a fine game being ruined by a shitty community. It's impossible to come by a matchmade game where people don't

a) Leave when they're on the losing team
b) Intentionally kill their teammates
c) Abuse their privilege to use the Xbox Live headset
d) Cheat using modified map files
e) Dominate through camping power weapons

I know it's a video game, but the lack of sportsmanship is astounding. We've had our share of great times with this one, but we're looking at five strikes here. Not one, two or three. Five. It's mind-numbingly aggravating when you sit back during the Post Game Carnage Report and see that what used to be a fun, competitive experience around which gleeful Babbuhls and extraordinary delivery were once based has become a wasteland of stupid people doing stupid things. The miserable shitbricks who find some kind of solace in mouthing off after the game are like a cherry-shaped gall stone on top of a cake made of shit. A layer cake, at that.

Halo 2, you were good to us until you were reamed by the countless $50 causes of your own success. I wearily look forward to your new maps, if only to see what comes of the patch released alongside them. You knock off a few of those strikes with cold hard justice and the technical means to support it, and then we'll talk. Until then, I think we're going to start snapping necks again. Believe you me, each vertebrae twisted into a shape vaguely resembling a pretzel will symbolize one of many screeching 12-year-olds who pissed on our magnificent parade.

In closing, here is a logo of sorts for Zibbudie Babbuhl. Feel free to recoil in astonishment. (By the way, that's faux-Latin for "He Who Dares, Babbuhls.")