A cut of conversation that we found stupidly hilarious.

As you may know, Kyle and I are avid fans of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, which is home to a little segment known as "Celebrity Secrets", where just that happens. Celebrities and quasi-celebrities reveal a series of fictitious "secrets" in what looks like an interrogation room. Laughter ensues. The Late Night with Conan O'Brien web site holds an archive of these segments in the form of text.

After scouring the site in unison, Kyle and I began sharing our favourites over MSN Messenger by the simple means of copy/past afforded to us by our browsers. This soon became a wicked ritual, lasting for days and days, some peppered with mild chuckles, others with exhausted silence. After I had figured the archives dry of new comedy, Kyle continued to slip quotes into our conversations at random. I jokingly reprimanded him for keeping the page open after all this time ("CLOSE IT FFS"), but he took it one step further: setting it as his homepage. Essentially, he cannot browse the internet without first being reminded of such folly.

Fast-forward to today. I hadn't seen any of these quotes in quite some time. I had forgotten. However, upon being told that Kyle saved his 30s detective dialogue (to be featured in its own post), I brought back "CLOSE IT," fearful that he was falling into yet another pattern of manic repetitiveness. Here's what went down:

Kyle says:
"I'm very proud of my 'son', and most importantly the light it provides to our solar system."

Jems says:
lmao

Jems says:
they're going to come to your home



Jems says:
and shoot you

Kyle says:
lol

Jems says:
conan himself will pull the trigger

Jems says:
"ENOUGH OF THIS HAMMERY"




Kyle says:
i would have it no other way

Jems says:
lol

Jems says:
he prances over your body

Jems says:
pulling the invisible strings



Kyle says:
that would be a pretty cool way to go

Jems says:
cuts them

Kyle says:
lmao

Jems says:
then sets fire to your room

Jems says:
leaves

Kyle says:
man, you're making him into the joker all of a sudden

Jems says:
"MAX WE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT, DON'T WE?"



Jems says:
there's nobody there

Kyle says:
lol

Kyle says:
jumps from my room into the living room

Jems says:
he just pulls his head back and cackles as the explosion erupts



Kyle says:
lmao

Kyle says:
jemsy

Kyle says:
story time.

Kyle says:
zbl

Kyle says:
i am kyle laughing

Jems says:
i will do the honours

Kyle says:
i'll get some images.



Jemsy/Banyon out.